DOUBLE BIND, 2023
Video, color, sound / Video, Farbe, Ton
28 min 42 Sec.
DOUBLE BIND is a portrait of my consensual/nonconsensual relationship with a machine. I have obstructive sleep apnea, an issue with how air passes through my airway to reach my lungs. This work was the last one made for the exhibition. I wanted to create an image that challenged notions of power, mercy, control, submission, and consent. The mask I place on my head is connected to my CPAP machine, which is controlled by my doctor. The doctor adjusts the pressure of the airflow to allow me to breathe fully free of apnea. My doctor also sets the duration over which the machine increases the pressure once I am fully asleep. This is called a ramp. My ramping takes twenty minutes. The video is twenty-eight minutes. It takes me five to ten minutes to go to sleep, and my machine ramps up the pressure, anticipating a more troubled moment of sleep—the loss of consciousness where I also lose the ability to breathe properly. My machine then pushes air at such a force that it cuts through the obstruction. The video covers the time of my deep sleep cycle. The machine is a prescription and can be taken away if I do not use it nightly for at least four hours. This is what the doctor refers to as compliance. When I’m fully asleep, the machine starts its manipulation and can be adjusted without me being notified by my doctor, as it can be controlled remotely.